Why Mommy is no fun, by Cooper Lee:
She will not let me dump my plastic cup full of water out of the bathtub.
She insists on wiping my face after I eat; is anyone really going to care if I have green beans from chin to eyebrow?
I have never once gotten to play with the camera, even though I try. Constantly.
She won't let me eat dog food, her houseplants, or fuzzys I find on the floor.
She says "no" way too much.

On the other hand, I am pretty sure that no one loves me like my mommy loves me.